Monday, December 11, 2017

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for December 11, 2017

THE MAN
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Joel Embiid (Last Week: 5) - I understand that the Sixers lost a couple of awful games last week and are on a bit of a slide, but goddamn, if Embiid isn't a wizard on the court. When Ben Simmons gets fully used to NBA speed and starts turning the ball over less, this team is going to be unstoppable. Trust the process, always.

2. Asuka (Last Week: 6) - Seriously, am I the only one who thinks Absolution vs. Asuka is a mismatch... in favor of Asuka? You're going to need to make this Women's Royal Rumble 29 vs. Asuka to make it fair, and even then. Even then.

3. Bryan Danielson (Last Week: 1) - Daniel Bryan's continual teasing and teasing of wrestling another match got even hotter on Tuesday when he gave Fascist-in-Chief of Smackdown Shane McMahon the sidiest side-eye possible when he got his answer for "haven't you punished them enough?" Bryan vs. McMahon would be awful, but what if it led to Bryan vs. Sami Zayn? Bryan vs. Shinsuke Nakamura? BRYAN VS. ONEY LORCAN??????

Expectorate The Worst, or Why PROGRESS May Not Be For Me

PROGRESS: We Alienate Starting With the Dang Logo
Photo via Wikipedia
Spike Trivet is a wrestler in England who has gotten bookings for PROGRESS. He hasn't really made a whole lot of a splash yet, so he decided that he'd literally make one at the latest chapter of the British promotion's series of events:

Rich Swann Has Been Suspended Indefinitely

Another abuse case
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Sunday mornings are for making breakfast, reading the paper, and apparently finding out that a former favorite wrestler of yours is a domestic abuser. News broke yesterday morning that Rich Swann is the latest wrestler to be outed as an abuser, as he was arrested for battery and false imprisonment for an incident involving his wife, Su Yung. The Gainesville Police Department released the police report and a mugshot due to "national media requests," so everything is now out in the open. Apparently, Swann was critiquing Yung's latest wrestling match, things got heated, and according to two witnesses, Swann headlocked her after she got out of the car out of fear of escalation and dragged her back in against her will. Swann is denying the charges, although the witnesses' descriptions corroborate Yung's side more than Swann's. Shortly after, WWE took action and suspended Swann indefinitely.

Friday, December 8, 2017

Pick Three: HOSS HOSS HOSS, Being the Elite, Beyond's Cold Brew

Keith Lee gonna toss Joey Janela around like a ragdoll Sunday
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
It's the weekend, baby! You know what that means, time to drink precisely one beer and dial 911 wrestling is happening, and it's happening all around this great world. I'm going to highlight three shows which I think will be of most interest. Of course, I'm only one person. You can check out which shows are coming up possibly in your area via Cagematch. Anyway, go to, if you can, these great shows that may be happening in your area, on television/YouTube/streaming, or for later consumption via VOD, DVD, or whatever other means one uses to consume wrestling at a later date:

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. Jawn

GIMME DAT PORK ROLL
Photo Credit: TH
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

I have a confession to make. I could become a lacto-ovo vegetarian or even a vegan if I wanted to. I like enough food that I could cut out meat and be happy. However, speculate if you will a moment of weakness. I do get cravings every once in awhile, and usually, those cravings point towards breakfast foods, stuff like eggs, potatoes, bagels, that sort of thing. So it should follow that if I'm feeling carnivorous at a certain point in the day, it will be for breakfast foods, namely, a pork roll, egg, and cheese sandwich on a long roll, a Kaiser roll, an everything bagel, whatever. The bread is mostly unimportant. What matters is sweet, sweet pork products will be on that sandwich, namely in the form of a tangy kind of ham that is found in New Jersey and places that border New Jersey.

NXT In 60 Seconds

Who's one more (hopefully kick-ass) match away from being number one contender?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Master Regal: Welcome to NXT.  With Drew McIntyre out due to injury, an opportunity has opened up in the #1 contendership to face our new champion, Andrade "Cien" Almas, in Philadelphia at our next Takeover.

There will be four qualifying singles matches and then a fatal four way, the winner of which will get the title shot in Philadelphia.

Tonight, the first two of those occur as Killian Dain faces Trent Seven and Kassius Ohno... well, he was supposed to face the Velveteen Dream, who is still injured.  But he will face a worthy competitor nevertheless tonight.  Best of luck to all the competitors.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Pro Wrestling SKOOPZ on The Wrestling Blog: Vol. 3, Issue 15

WILL ROUSEY (right, obviously) BE STARTING WITH WWE SOON?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Well hello everyone of my LOYAL READERS. HORB FLERBMINBER is back again with all the news you can handle in one sitting. I ASKED THE SURGEON GENERAL FOR THE RIGHT AMOUNT. It just keeps coming. I sit and wonder, will the news ever stop? Will a day ever come when nothing will be out there for reporting, and I can finally take a long-awaited vacation from this misery that is my life of hanging out in smoky bingo halls, waiting at drop points for packages from sources in WWE, trolling the dark web for info that might be useful? And when I feel like it's right there for me that I can finally book a week off to go hiking in the Andes Mountains, to see the Nazca Lines and explore the Incan ruins around Machu Picchu, Roman Reigns fails a drug test, or Jeff Jarrett runs naked through Nashville, drunk as a skunk on Brass Monkey, and I have to be there to get all the dirt. My life is an ourobouros... what was I saying? OH YEAH, SOMETHING SOMETHING BRUCE MITCHELL CAN'T HOLD MY JOCK, I AM THE KING OF NEWS.

Victims over Loyalty: An Essay on Michael Elgin

Elgin doesn't deserve your defense
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
It seems that every other day, some new story is coming out about a domestic abuser or a rapist. The dominoes have mostly fallen in the entertainment industry, but the stories have started to leak out in wrestling as well. Sean Orleans, a low-card indie wrestler in the St. Louis area, was accused of sexual assault by a female fan in the area. Orleans worked a lot for Michael Elgin in Glory Pro Wrestling. The accusations came to light initially in September, but they weren’t noticed by most people until November, when the accuser brought them back to light with the rush of accusations and action against them in Hollywood was in full swing. Elgin immediately tweeted from the official Glory Pro account that Orleans would not be booked for him anymore, and he’d seemingly said all the right things in public since then. “Seemingly” and “public” however are the operative words here.

Your Midweek Links:

More examination of the above two's past lives in ROH this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Wednesday is upon the world, and only the rest of today and two more days stand between you and the weekend. You've made it this far, congratulations. However, I fear you may need help to get to Friday afternoon. FEAR NOT goodly reader, for I have the solution to your problem. Below are the best links that lead to some of the finest writing about wrestling from the past week. They will surely aid you in your quest to get through the working week and get to the weekend, where you can drink precisely one be... wait a second, I already rip that @dril tweet off for another weekly post that I do, don't I? Ah well, just click the goddamn links below, alright?

Hey, have you checked out last week's TweetBag? Do it, because it's got a nice mix of questions from the users of Twitter. [The Wrestling Blog]

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

205 Live Is Going on the Road

Coming to an arena in the Northeast near you, Swann and the gang!
Photo Credit: WWE.com
WWE has four distinct touring entities: RAW, Smackdown, NXT National, and NXT Florida loop. It will soon have a fifth, at least in a limited capacity. Monday, WWE announced via Dot Com that 205 Live will go on the road in January, the weekend before the Royal Rumble. The cruiserweights will hit up the Northeast in three moderate-sized locales: Kingston, RI, Lowell, MA, and Poughkeepsie, NY. Tickets go on sale this Friday. Right now, the tour is being framed as a limited-run of special events. My guess is if it's popular, then, 205 Live will be a touring brand on its own.

The Steelers With the Three Count

He scored the touchdown, then did the job
Photo Credit: Rob Carr/Getty Images
The National Football League relaxed the rules on celebrations for this year. It was a long time coming, to be honest; while some fuddy-duds maintained that these men are PROFESSIONALS who shouldn't engage in things like fun or showing human emotion, most recognize that at heart, these men are playing a game. Why not let them celebrate a little after scoring a touchdown or getting a turnover? Some of the celebrations have been elaborate. My team, the Eagles, has been at the forefront of notable expressions after touchdowns, but if one other team could rival them, it'd be the cross-state Steelers, who struck again last night during their come-from-behind 23-20 win over their rivals, the Bengals.

Monday, December 4, 2017

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for December 4, 2017

Bryan back soon?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Bryan Danielson (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Honestly, I have to bring him back to the list because the rumblings are coming around again that he's been cleared to wrestle. The Sun is reporting it, which makes it dubious, and the actual report says that Danielson has been cleared by his own doctor and not Dr. Joseph Maroon, which means it's not a change on the last time the news was prominent. However, everyone knows Maroon is, quite bluntly, a maroon, and also that WWE is getting a bit desperate with whom it wants in the ring. If it cleared Kurt Angle... Of course, many of you don't wanna see him back in the ring, but I refer back to a thing I wrote a few months back, and hell, I'll probably write about it in depth more this week if I can carve out a few minutes between doing work stuff in Boston or what have you.

2. Kris Wolf (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Wolf's excursion into America was a rousing success, as she captured the AWS Women's Championship among other conquests. However, gold and leather are trivial concerns to her REAL desired conquests... MEAT. Hopefully, someone had the mind enough to introduce her to In 'n Out Burger while there...

Friday, December 1, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

Is Dunne/Bate III on Full Sail's horizon? 
Photo Credit:  WWE.com
Last week on a ghost episode of NI60: Ruby Riot and Sonya Deville competed in the first ever "Winner (And Loser) Get Called Up Match", and Johnny Gargano somehow failed to take the WWEUK title from Pete Dunne.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 214

Strowman's at an intersection for me in terms of the title
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

The first list is my preference:
Cesaro, Rusev, Braun Strowman, Sami Zayn, Big E
Of this group, only Strowman feels like he has a real shot, which segues into my second list, the ones I think WWE will put the strap on:
Braun Strowman, Shinsuke Nakamura, Baron Corbin, Lars Sullivan, Tian Bing
I don't think WWE thinks it has as many potential "good" World Champions on its roster as many fans within the Twitter bubble, or even within the Twitter genpop, do. I don't think the company's given up on Corbin yet, but giving him the briefcase is a sure sign that it thinks he's going to be ready eventually. The main difference between him and Damien Sandow is that right after his failed cash-in, Corbin went into a big-time feud with the biggest guy on the Smackdown roster. With Nakamura and Sullivan, it's not that I don't want to be Champions, but their inevitability exceeds my desire to see them win. Bing is a longer shot, but WWE expansion into China is coming, and as soon as Bing is ready, he's probably gonna get up on the main roster and be a big deal, both much in the same vein as Jinder Mahal was for Indian expansion, and probably utilized in a less racist, more productive manner than Mahal was.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Pro Wrestling SKOOPZ on The Wrestling Blog: Vol. 3, Issue 14

CAN HE SELL FIVE FIGURES OF TICKETS?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Well, well, well, guess who's back after the Thanksgiving break. NO, IT'S NOT SLIM SHADY, it is I, HORB FLERBMINBER. After you gluttons GORGED yourself on food this past week, the time has come for you to STUFF YOUR BRAIN STOMACH with all the tidbits of news that I can offer you, which is INFINITE. You HEAR ME? INFINITE. Who else offers that kind of capacity for information? DAVE MELTZER SURE DOESN'T. And don't even get me started on 411 Mania. MORE LIKE 411 NEWS TIDBITS PER YEAR, which is fewer than two per day. SAD.