Friday, June 16, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

This feud must continue~!
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Drew McIntyre: gets an entrance
Red Shirt: does not
Everybody: Oh, okay, it's one of these.
DMC: Who's house? 98% of the offense, Claymore
Referee: Your hou... I mean, uh, winner!

the Authors of Pain: get an entrance
Red Shirts: do not
Everybody Again: Another one of these? Uh, okay. At least it'll be...
Authors: ALL of the offense by Akam alone
Referee: Winner...s? Yeah, sure.
Paul Ellering: Heavy Machinery's as dumb as they are...
Scott Steiner (materializing out of thin air): FAT! THEY'RE FAT.
Ellering: Uh thanks? Anyway. We haven't lost all year. Ask TM61, whatever that is, or DIY, whatever that was, or American Alpha or the Revival. The book we're writing? They won't even be a footnote in it.
Heavy Machinery: show up and get in their faces
Ellering: Our time, boys. OUR time. somewhat maneuvers the Authors away and up the ramp
Everybody Again: ...short.
Roddy: via Twitter Robert Roode Esq. is privileged, but all I need is one shot to turn him into an EX-champ.

Patrick Clark Velveteen Dream: at least gets an entrance after his opponents
Everybody: He's fighting a CWC guy?
Card: Yup.
Everybody: Zacharia Labour the Second?
Card: No.
Everybody: ...KOTA IBUSHI!?
Card: ...no.
Everybody: ...it's some dude we don't remember who lost in the first round who's going to get in five percent of the offense, isn't it?
Card: No.
Everybody: !
Card: ...six percent?
Everybody: oh ffs
VD: cartwheel DVD into a Savage elbow
Referee: Winner!

Nikki Cross:
comes out sans music out of the crowd and drapes herself over the bottom rope
Ruby Riot: comes out and does most of her poses while keeping an eye on Cross the whole time
Asuka: is still Asuka
Nikki: lays out Ruby I got this! lands a shot on Asuka
Asuka: TRICK PLEASE lands several of her own
Ruby: helps Nikki clear Asuka from the ring You.
Nikki: cackles and attacks, eventually landing a swinging fisherwoman's neckbreaker on Asuka
Asuka: rolls out
Ruby: Finally. Saito suplex on Nikki, kick to lay out Asuka
Nikki: LOL U THOUGHT rope hung swinging neckbreaker eliminates Ruby
Asuka: yells at Nikki
Nikki: yells at Asuka
Asuka: Oh, you're done.  beating commences, goes up the aisle
Nikki: fights back with some eyerakes and backrakes but is clearly losing
Fight: heads to the back
Referee: ....well, this is a new one. No contest?
Everybody: No contest!? Did this Negro just
Full Sailors: REF YOU SUCK
Asuka: beats the crap out of Nikki in the back
Nikki: beats the crap out of Asuka in the back, comes back closer to ringside and continues fighting in the crowd
Asuka: fights back
Nikki: dives at her in production and sends them both through a table
Everybody: Holy shit! NXT! NXT! NXT!