Thursday, August 17, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 200

If only his dad were in the business, he'd be a failson
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Gabe Sapolsky going to a WWE creative position would be the apex on his career of failing upwards. He is the poster child for capital in America, which is weird to say about an industry bereft of the lucrative rewards in others rife with the kind of cronyism, good-boy-networking, and lack of color. But wrestling is less executed as an art and more as a cult to capitalism, complete with the same people given chance after chance after chance to run the show despite not showing any results. Sapolsky went from a Paul Heyman crony in Extreme Championship Wrestling to a job booking for Ring of Honor. The jump may not have been right away, but the point is, he got his big break because of who he knew, not because he gave a comprehensive five-point plan to Cary Silkin. Anyway, his run in ROH was critically acclaimed to be fair. How much of it was attributed to him and how much to the world-class cadre of wrestlers he had under his belt, like Bryan Danielson, CM Punk, Samoa Joe, and Nigel McGuinness to name a few, remains to be seen. Personally, that era was before my time.

Anyway, he fell out with ROH and his business ventures since then have been, well, spotty at best. He partnered with Dragon Gate to bring the influential brand of Japanese wrestling to America on a more full-time basis. It didn't take for whatever reason. It could have been Sapolsky's attempts at building a brand different from ROH with the American talent were average at best. It could have been that the idea of flying Dragon Gate's upper midcard and main event over to the United States was too expensive to run as a sustainable model. It could have been that the American talent Sapolsky did get over was transparently groomed to work in Japan. I don't know. However, EVOLVE, man, that entire concept from the beginning felt half-baked, and fans seemed to agree. Attendance figures were in the pits for shows that didn't feature Danielson. However, it was viable enough to survive after Dragon Gate ended its partnership. Inexplicably, despite attendance numbers and lack of buzz nationwide compared to even local promotions, people still wanted to wrestle for him. And then, once again, EVOLVE blew up again, not because it really did anything of note, but because somehow, Triple H/Paul Levesque didn't want to do business with corporately-owned ROH and started looking to him for a pipeline to cheap but name-brand indie wrestlers to plug into his boutique brand and eventually into a WWE he was about to inherit.

All of a sudden, Sapolsky has a ton of cards in his hands, yet, what has been the name story he's booked? How has he enhanced the talent he brought in? No doubt, he's booked great wrestlers and personalities (personalities, because where would EVOLVE be without Stokely BY GOD Hathaway?). That has never been his problem though. His problem is glomming credit for the baller matches his talent had and all the great stuff they've done in the absence of a coherent story. His influence on a story has almost always been to its detriment. Which is why rumors of him going to WWE are both hilarious and appropriate. He and WWE deserve each other. Really, they do.

First and foremost, the most ideal go-to meat is pork roll. Like bacon, it can be a flavorful accessory to other sandwiches: fried chicken, burgers, eggs even. Unlike bacon, it's hearty and meaty enough that it can be the main event and have ingredients built around it.

Second, a burger is a sandwich, so a ground beef patty, say, 80-20 protein-to-fat ratio is the key here.

Third, well, name a product that comes from the humble pig. Roasted pork shoulder. Barbecue pulled pork. Hams of various providence. Other kinds of charcuterie like salami. The pig is the sandwich animal.

I'm assuming this isn't even about the failed cash-in, which is really not on him. For a guy who has built his online reputation on The Banter, he's been getting owned pretty hard lately. The biggest ding against him has been going after a dude and then backing down when he played the "I'M THE TROOPS" card. Apparently Mojo Rawley owned him too, but man, I don't have time to keep up with 2015 NXT's D-class firing shots at each other on Twitter Dot Com. The Dave Meltzer stuff is also a mark against him, but not because Ol' Melty owned him. It's because Corbin probably should know by now that no one wins when they start yelling at Meltzer about whether or not they're good or not, especially if they work for WWE. The only thing that I think may have worked against him career-wise was the thing with the veteran because you know how hard Vince McMahon RESPECTS the troops. However, I doubt one incident on Twitter caused the company to give up on him. I don't necessarily think it was going to strap him anyway. But his reputation as the best shit-talker in the company on Twitter took a huge hit. Will he recover? Time will tell.

Defining modern wrestling as "wrestling after it came to cable television," the answer is simple.

Photo Credit: WWE.com
What, you were expecting Abyss?

Well, 69 is an incredible number. It is, of course, the sex number, and it's the only real marquee number to consist of two digits. However, all marquee numbers need consideration. For example, 420 is the weed number. Is it better than 69? To me, no, because 420 has a sort of slacker stank on it. It's not as exciting as 69. Now, 666, that's a real contender. It is the number of The Beast, which has the dual purpose of pissing off Christians AND associating with Iron Maiden's greatest song. But is it better than 69? It's a contender. I'll go back to it. Then you have 911, which has taken on fame for irony purposes, but I'm not comfortable putting it over when it is associated with, well, you know. Finally, 80085 is for all us oldheads with solar-powered calculators who'd type in that number because it looked like "BOOBS." It's awesome in a nostalgia sense, but it's even too puerile for this exercise.

So now, it's down to 69 and 666. Both are great, but it comes down to sex vs. religion at its core. Sex is way more fun than religion. So to answer your question, no. No number is greater than 69. It is clear that 69 is the best number of all-time.

The first and foremost thing is that the width and breadth of questions posed by the readership and mutual following on Twitter is far deeper than I could have imagined. I've gotten some supremely creative questions over the years, ones I've had to wrack my brain to answer, ones that took my psyche down paths I never thought open to me. I feel like a lot of my best content has come in various TweetBag questions, which makes the relationship between you, the reader/asker and me, the author/answerer, symbiotic. I need you to give me the stimulus to produce the best of what I have in my arsenal. This isn't some Bill Simmons mailbag venture where I pick the least creative questions to answer and pretend I'm some kind of savant by making constant references to things that may not matter, and then condescend to you at the end by picking the absolute dumbest pap to say "Yup, these are my readers." Sure, I answer every question, but even the gag answers to gag questions I feel are more than just a brush-off. Or not. Maybe I'm full of shit and you all hate me for my glib answers. But I do feel a kinship over this whole venture. And that's the important thing.

That question might not be the right one to ask. You should ask "Is the NFL worth my time this year," which is far murkier but ripe for a juicier debate. I feel like the NFL is the next victim thinkpiece writers will pin on the Industry Killin' Fiends Known As Millennials because of all the head trauma, the slow pace of game, and the growing epidemic of shitty people in the league, whether owners or players. I personally still think it's a worthy game to follow. If you do too, then the answer to your original question is a resounding YES. As it stands right now, only like three or four teams are not going to be worth following: Los Angeles Chargers, Chicago Bears, New York Jets, and possibly the San Francisco 49ers or Cleveland Browns. Everyone else has some modicum of hope, and the Eagles are no different. Are they resounding favorites to make the playoffs? I'd be a massive homer to say they were, because the defense has holes, and who knows if Carson Wentz's receivers will stay healthy enough to catch his passes, provided he doesn't have a sophomore slump. But if the NFL grows increasingly superfluous to you, no team may be worth your time.

I've never had a fish taco. I think this point in the TweetBag is as good a time as any to admit that I'm not a huge fan of fish in general. It started from when I was a young lad and just wouldn't touch any seafood because I ate it once and thought it was gross. I've since relented, and I eat all kinds of shellfish, tuna, salmon (raw, smoked, or cured only), cephalopods, and mollusks. But I'm still a bit wary of whitefishes and so I couldn't tell you about a good fish taco or burrito. That question is better suited for native San Diegan and Fish Taco Aficionado, Butch.

It is, oddly enough, not the McRib. Even though I'd probably never touch one with a ten foot pole, at least the McRib plays on people's demand for diversity and flavor. Every fast food restaurant that has a fish sandwich, or worse, only really has a fish sandwich to coincide with Fridays in Lent, is putting out a product just to pander to people following something that is only official doctrine because a pope in the Middle Ages wanted to boost the fishing industry. Maybe it's my predilection against fish (see above) that shades this answer, but I'll abide by a shitty pork product that appeals to America's greatest contribution to the culinary arts than some shitty fish product pandering to blue-haired old ladies who feel like redlining is okay but eating cow flesh on a Friday in early spring isn't.

Twitter is a solid 5, and most of the points taken off have everything to do with its administration and handling of harassment. In theory, it's a wonderful tool to disseminate information, connect with people, and share opinions without the high price of access. However, because the people in charge would rather make changes none of its users want than police the number of people harassing folks or even existing while spouting racist or otherwise bigoted ideologies, whether behind a mask or even out in the open in the case of people like David Duke and Richard Spencer, making the dissemination of information, connections with people, and sharing of opinions dangerous rather than good. It would be one thing if all opinions were welcome, but the policing seems to come in response to the Nazis, whom Twitter has verified, by the way. If I wasn't already ingrained in Twitter, I wouldn't sign up for it today.

It's going to depend on how far WWE takes this acknowledgement. For example, if it's just something that the Twitter/Dot Com brings up and it's never mentioned on television/streaming, then it'll just be something that festers and is an occasional talking point. Everyone knows that the online arm of WWE likes to prod at things that the televised narrative won't touch because even without Joey Styles there, that staff has some degree of autonomy in what it chooses to highlight. However, if the Mae Young Classic airs, and LeRae's matches vs. people like Cedric Alexander get mentioned, and Abbey Laith winning a title held by all men before and after her reign is highlighted, then hoo boy, expect the debate on intergender wrestling to reach new and embarrassingly annoying frontiers, baybay.

Okay, so you're worried about two events with live-viewing primacy going head-to-head, WWE's second biggest Network event of the year and the money episode of any Game of Thrones season. It isn't like missing episode 2 of a season to watch SummerSlam, nor is it like skipping WWE Wrestling Match: The Pay-Per-View to watch the Shit Going Down episode of the series. If you DVR GoT, you risk being spoiled by one sphere of Twitter. If you watch the PPV on the Network afterwards, you risk missing out on the big deals from another. If you go delayed watching, you'd have to go dark on social media. But hark, what is this, a third way? If you're willing to break the law and seek out some leaks from, ahem, dubious sources, you can watch Game of Thrones... now. That way, you'll know how Westerosi Suicide Squad vs. Zombies, Wraiths, and Walkers turns out on time and can watch the whole of SummerSlam.

Me? I'm a giant coward, so I'll be pausing SummerSlam and watching GoT live. I was going to just switch over, but man, the end of Smackdown kinda got me hype to see the whole show now, not just the RAW four-way main event. I am willing to make the sacrifice and stay away from social media to absorb. The question is... will you?

Okay, so the first thing to do is find more than just the boutique bodies from America for this division. AJ Brooks is a great name, but she's just one possible wrestler. So, the first thing to do is call Rossy Ogawa or whoever is heading up STARDOM nowadays. If he doesn't pick up or bite, then move onto the people who used to run JWP, or Mayumi Ozaki and Oz Academy, or Meiko Satomura and Sendai Girls. Assuming that's the option, you now have a Japanese base. You have an American base in the Women of Honor. You have CMLL's women's division. Now you need to crown a Champion. Women's G1 Climax, anyone?

BLOCK A
Amber O'Neal, Sumie Sakai, Mandy Leon, Dalys la Caribeña, Princesa Sugehit, Mayumi Ozaki, Tsubasa Kurigaki, DASH Chisako, Command Bolshoi, AJ Brooks

BLOCK B
Kelly Klein, Deonna Purrazzo, Jenny Rose, Zeuxis, Silueta, Meiko Satomura, Aja Kong, Cassandra Miyagi, Hanako Nakamuri, Leon

A rough reckoning of that field gives you a Meiko Satomura vs. Command Bolshoi final. Either way, you start out with a strong champion and some options for feuds going forward, including Brooks, Kong, and Zeuxis (during FantasticaMania).

If caramel isn't considered "traditional," then I go with that hands down. If it is, then I would probably go with some kind of cayenne pepper salt. Spicy popcorn seems like it would be a great munching snack.

It's gotta be Sandow if only because that one felt awful both in the moment AND in retrospect after the requisite, WWE-butt-kisser "wait and see" period. Of course, the Corbin cash-in just happened, but in the moment, it actually felt like a good call, which is where it already surpasses Sandow. For one, the Corbin moment felt like a legit surprise, built towards an existing match (vs. John Cena at SummerSlam), kept the title on someone who wasn't already super-established (Jinder Mahal), and actually protected Corbin in a way by hearkening back to ANOTHER moment when the top guy in the company was a colossal dickbag to an adversary and everyone was expected to be okay with it because it was Cena (remember Royal Rumble '92?). Further analysis shows a good reason for it other than "Corbin ain't ready, pardnah." This year is the first year WWE has a women's Money in the Bank. Obviously, Carmella is going to cash it in successfully or else, uh, why introduce it into the women's division. Having only one cash-in will make hers stand out, which won't be a complete makegood for the way she came about the case, but it's something. Plus, Corbin has that requisite wait-and-see period which in his case may be a positive because he's not a dude dead in the water on his second go-around on the main roster with a second ring name and who's tall. I could be dead wrong about this, but I feel like Corbin is going to be okay.

Ah, yes, a PPR league. It's hard not to go running back in those leagues, but how could one pass up Antonio Brown, who seems like a surer thing than his teammate and potential hold-out/injury risk, LeVeon Bell. I got him at first overall. Then, at my next two picks at 20 and 21, I'm taking a chance on Leonard Fournette and rounding out my WR corps with DeAndre Hopkins. When 40 and 41 roll around, pickings start to get a little slimmer. But I see value with Carlos Hyde in a sneaky San Francisco offense that could be much improved from last year now that it has better guidance (even with the downgrade at quarterback). I couple him with the waning years of Larry Fitzgerald in Arizona. Picks 60 and 61, I gotta get a QB, so hello Matt Ryan, and a TE, so let's go Delanie Walker. At 80 and 81, I'm filling taking some depth with Tevin Campbell and Tyrell Williams. Finally, at pick 100, I'll round out my WR corps with DaVante Parker. Of course, that's all speculation based on one set of rankings and in a league format that I'm not all too familiar with. However, why not.

Only the most important question: Drew, how do you feel?

I'm going to level with you; since the team was relegated, I've paid scant little attention to Aston Villa. That being said, I looked at the tables from last year and this year so far, and I can only conclude that Arsene Wenger MUST resign now Steve Bruce probably is in over his head. If I were AVFC management, I'd pressure him into resigning before the storied club gets the boot down to the next league down.

Protected user @adamsgroove asks:
Congratulations on 200. Anything we haven't asked you yet that you're itching to answer? And how much longer will you do this?
I answer whatever comes my way, so really, I just want questions from a wide breadth of Twitter followers. As for how much longer I'll go, well, assuming I don't go skeleton like I did for awhile last year or so, I'd imagine the TweetBag will be around as long as TWB is around.

I wouldn't put them in the finals against each other because you can't go into a new era and not put a native team over. Chikara has done the "guests win" thing the last two years, and I think a team that is around all the time needs to win this year. Granted, the team I'd pick, the Xyberhawx 2000, are plum up against Sendai Girls in the first round. So if the aim is to have last year's winners take on the IT fellas from England, I guess the birbs can wait until next year. But no, it should absolutely not happen in the final round. Perhaps it should be the Night 2 main event as a marquee quarterfinal match.

By definition, dad jokes aren't good or supposed to be good. They're all varying stages of groan-inducing. I can't pick a favorite, but this one I posted on Twitter yesterday is one I'm proud of:


So the weasel-word answer that doesn't really address your question is every wrestler would benefit because short of a union, a competitor to WWE is the best way to ensure better payments and better treatment. Creatively, I would hazard to guess Cesaro would be an answer, but not the best one. First, the cruiserweights might be better off because in the same way that WWE was a home for guys like Chris Jericho and the Radicalz when they left WCW, a second promotion that didn't have a stupid weight branding might be able to push, say Cedric Alexander or Akira Tozawa or Neville to the moon without any sort of condition. Cesaro might be better off too, but it would depend on the tenor of the promotion. In that respect, Sheamus might also be one as well.

The first rider is they get to stuff Vince McMahon in a crate and send him to live in the White House with his buddy Donald Trump. Anyway, my first choice, by an overwhelming margin, is Rebecca Sugar. Who is she, you might ask? Well, she's the showrunner of a little cartoon series called Steven Universe. Her show displays so many things that WWE aches to improve in: character development, layered continuity, dynamic storytelling, LGBTQ/POC representation without pandering. If you want someone in charge of a universe with many different characters, she's the person you call. Also, judging by the "Tiger Millionaire" episodes, she either is a fan of wrestling or has enough respect/knowledge of the art to know how it might work. Judging by the characterization of Lars in the "Tiger Philanthropist" episode as a total smark, she just might be the former. The second one I guess would be in charge of the brand Sugar wasn't in charge of. So, uh, I guess Stephen King can do the other brand? Sure, he sucks at writing endings, but honestly, he'd improve on the beginnings and middles of WWE programming enough that the endings would be palatable. Besides, when has WWE ever been good at resolutions?

MAIN EVENT  Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan: The top stars of either company during this whole thing would have to face off. Of course, it'd be a good match for Austin too as at the peak, he was suffering from neck troubles, and Hogan wasn't known as a strenuous worker anyway.

The Rock vs. Bill Goldberg: This match did happen, but not while Goldberg was at the top of his mystique. However, it was when Rock was at or closer to his peak as a worker. Still, this is where it's at.

The Undertaker vs. Sting: Duh.

Mankind vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage: Two guys who are manic in their own way facing off has potential for an all-time crazy brawl if you ask me.

New Age Outlaws vs. The Outsiders: The two marquee tag teams face off in two-on-two mayhem. Given that none of the four guys in this match were any good in the ring, this match would be more for spectacle than anything. But still.

If Roman Reigns ends up back in The Shield, you'll know it's going strong still.

Man, the pickings are pretty slim. It's basically either Stanislaus Zbyszko or Rusev at this point, and that's either picking a dude from the prehistoric days of professional wrestling that few fans have ever seen and a guy who hasn't quite made it in WWE yet. Either way, pro wrestling and Eastern Europe aren't really fast friends.

I haven't really listened to it yet, and I've only read recaps from guys like Scott and Elliot. That being said, it's another podcast by a business veteran, so it feels like feeding into the oversaturation. When the wrestling biz podcasts were just Colt Cabana and Steve Austin, great, they each had their own voice. Then Chris Jericho joined in, and okay, that makes sense but I'm not sure I wanna listen to it. But then Ric Flair and Roddy Piper and Vince Russo and Mick Foley all started doing podcasts and it's like, enough is enough. But that's just me speaking out of my own preferences anymore. Prichard may speak to a different audience in a unique voice. I'm just so burnt out on the medium and the saturation within.

It only ran once, but ho ho ho, it was great:


Going back to the "modern day number two" question, it's not that I don't think Cesaro could be a main event guy in another promotion. It's just I'm not sure if he could fit better in a modern-day WCW equivalent than in WWE right now. However, I know of one promotion that just ran a 19-show tournament focused mainly and mostly on wrestling and Cesaro would kill it over there. Sure, New Japan Pro Wrestling already has a Tomohiro Ishii, but while upper midcard guy who has bomb matches on all spots of the card sounds like something that fits Cesaro like a tee. Plus, he'd pull it off with a bit more panache than Ishii, and ho boy, I'm getting the vapors thinking about a Cesaro/Ishii HOSS FIGHT. It's not like getting rid of one to get the other over here, y'know?

The first TweetBag was five years ago, five fuckin' years ago. I think the biggest shift in opinion since then is probably in how I judge wrestling itself and matches. I was a lot more rigid and had more criteria then. Now, I look at stuff a lot more abstractly. Did the match entertain me, and did it fit in the overall oeuvre of the show/promotion/narrative to which it belongs? Did it have artistic merit? Did it try to do something I've never seen before, and if it didn't, was it at least an excellent interpretation on the older tropes? That might sound like it's more complex, but it's not, and it's more of an appeal to emotion rather than a checklist of stuff to go through. It's more analytical, and yet less analytical at the same time if that makes sense. Also, I was far less of a leftist then than I am now, but that's more an overall thing than a wrestling opinion thing.

I would put it at 100 percent except for the fact that Roman Reigns has consistently been positioned as The Guy in WWE and Dean Ambrose and even Seth Rollins have not. This reunion feels like giving Rollins and Ambrose something to do with all the other non-main event guys while Reigns, Braun Strowman, Samoa Joe, and eventually John Cena take up the RAW main event scene. That being said, nothing in recent WWE history felt more important than The Shield, and if WWE wanted to boost Rollins and Ambrose again in an instant and attempt to turn Reigns' crowd reactions all positive, all it has to do is put the three of them back together. The reactions would be loud. Neither Ambrose nor Rollins was really doing anything before they started teasing them teasing again, and the reactions were off the charts. That's the power of The Shield.

Of course, the money story would be Reigns rejecting Ambrose and Rollins, and them recruiting Kassius Ohno, but you and I know that will never, ever happen.

It is and always will be undefeated streaks. A kick finisher can at least look cool. An undefeated streak is good once every blue moon. When you have them going almost all the time, then it's overkill.

The same thing WWE was going to do with them before, keeping them on restrictive deals that in the wake of Pete Dunne getting smashed up by a negligent Darius Carter could get more restrictive. They'll make an extra $20K a year to be on retainer and possibly work NXT here and there, and any attempt at reviving a competing promotion to WWE and WWE friendly companies in the UK will be choked out before it starts. And the green grass grows all around all around and the green grass grows all around.

In every situation, I will take the former. At heart, I'm a wrestling fan for the matches, and while the constant complaints I have about booking corrode at me, I am the easiest person in the world to please. Give me the Hardy Boys vs. HOSS International or AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn or Pete Dunne vs. Tyler Bate and I will love you forever even if the trappings are idiotic. You can only give me so much mileage out of great storytelling with limited guys like Snitsky or Heidenreich. Granted, I'll still watch and find things to praise about it, but it won't hit me as much as today's roster, or more pointedly, the 2013 roster that had The Shield, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Sheamus, Damien Sandow, and even Ryback (RYBACK?!?!?) banging out every week, do.

This is the point in the TweetBag where I out myself as a fake rap fan because the only LP I've listened to all the way through is Enter the 36 Chambers. It's a fantastic album but everything else is just songs and snippets. But out of that, I'll always like Method Man the best. He just feels the most real, the rawest, even if his flow isn't as good as, say, Ghostface or Raekwon. As for other projects, I might enjoy, I'll defer to the former Vice President of the United States and say that Liquid Swords is my next Spotify listen.

First off, I'm disappointed in D for this because usually she would be up front with butts.

Second, in no particular order:

  • Abbey Laith
  • Peyton Royce
  • Drew Gulak
  • Marti Belle
  • Naomi
Of course, I am willing to hear cases for other butts, but please provide ample visual evidence when you do. Ample visual evidence. Yes.


It is 2013, and it's not even close. Orton has been a layabout for most of his career, coasting on his reputation, his billing, and a finisher that is by my count 59 times more over than he is, possibly more. He's had great singular performances here and there, but outside of his run in 2013 where he was going with Daniel Bryan every other week, he hasn't been consistent. I'd like to think that it was because he was pushed by Bryan and the rest of the WWE's supporting cast that year, which is perhaps the best calendar year for any mainstream company in American history. Any other year, the actual resume just isn't present.

I'll do both sports and wrestling. For sports, all four Philly franchises seem to be in good hands, so I would head over to Chicago's South Side and try to fix the White Sox. I would employ a combination of Moneyball-style finding-value-in-undervauled-areas while spending a good budget on scouting, not just North America, but Latin America and even worldwide. I would accumulate draft picks and prospects until a point when the team was ready to contend. Hopefully the team is ready to contend before I get fired.

As for wrestling, give me Global Force Wrestling's television slot. I will then purge the timeslot of anything remotely connected to GFW, TNA, Impact, whatever. I would keep select wrestlers and attempt partnerships with key global ventures to add in international flavor. Who would I put on top? It depends on what wrestlers I would end up with and what international partnerships I procure. But my wrestling product would emphasize blowoff matches as "boss battles" or "epic cinema finales" to culminate simple stories with varying degrees of flair. You would know who the characters are and you will get a sense of what they believe.

I've had a lot of really great questions over the year, and I'm not sure I can pinpoint just one as a favorite from every one of the 200 TweetBags. However, the question about which President would've made the best pro wrestler from Vol. 194 by @NotBrockJahnke gave me the best brainstorming. Plus, I just like the phrase "William Howard Taft Bodyslam Challenge."