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| Drinks are on Heenan, courtesy of Mr. Perfect Screengrab via WWE.com |
So they seized upon the idea to have Mr. Perfect team with Savage. The problem was that for a year, Perfect had been Ric Flair's "executive consultant," essentially as his ringside manager. He was closely aligned with Flair and Bobby Heenan. How would they go about realigning him in a convincing manner?
All they had to do was look to Bobby Heenan and the format of Prime Time Wrestling. Just two months before it morphed into Monday Night RAW, Prime Time was in its final form as a studio show in which McMahon oversaw a discussion panel that always featured Heenan and Perfect, with a rotating cast of two additional characters. On the evening of November 16, those two characters were Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Hillbilly Jim, but as you can imagine, they will not be very important to this story.
The show opened with the announcement of Warrior's departure, as well as Savage's need for a partner. Heenan said, "Why don't you ask Barbara if George is available, he doesn't have a job!" (in reference to H.W. Bush who had just lost to Clinton. So good.) Then via satellite, Randy Savage was brought on to comment on the situation. He claimed to have a good idea of who he would ask to be his partner. After a few not-so-subtle hints, he made it clear: he wanted Mr. Perfect. Heenan and Perfect sat back and laughed at this. They had spent the entire year tormenting Savage, so why would Perfect possibly join up with him?
The turn began when Heenan, continuing to ridicule Savage, said almost as an aside, "I mean, Perfect is just a manager! He's a broadcaster!" Perfect turned toward Heenan, wordlessly, but his expression spoke loudly. Just a manager? A broadcaster? He was Mr. Perfect. Better than just a manager. Former Intercontinental Champion, dammit.
Heenan noticed Perfect's expression and tried to butter him up by giving him credit for having guided Flair to the top of the WWF. But McMahon rather unhelpfully pointed out that Heenan had actually always taken full credit for that. Heenan got flustered and began speaking rapidly in defense of himself. He spoke in the tone that anyone could read as that of a liar. And Perfect seemed to know it.
"I handle the money, you walk behind them, they take care of business," Heenan said. Once again, ever so subtly, he demeaned Perfect as the guy in Flair's shadow. When pressed further on whether or not Perfect could step in the ring after more than a year away, Heenan said, "You want him to get in that ring and get killed??" Again, establishing Perfect's inferiority and Flair's superiority.
McMahon demanded some kind of an answer from Perfect, and Perfect said, "I'll consider it." Heenan immediately exploded and started shouting, and Perfect shouted back. They cut to commercial.
When they came back, Flair and Ramon had joined via satellite, with Savage back via satellite too. The three of them crosstalked at each other about the situation until Mr. Perfect stood up. "I'm tired of people making decisions for me. Savage... I accept your offer."
Heenan leapt from his chair and committed an offense he committed years before with Andre the Giant; he slapped him. And immediately, after Perfect grabbed his collar and told him to never do that again, Heenan dropped to his knees. "Look what they've done to us! They've torn us apart! Look, I'll do anything! I'll double your salary, I'll buy you a boat! Just don't leave us!" And at the sight of this groveling coward before him, Perfect laughed hysterically and dumped a pitcher of water over Heenan's head. Fade to black.
***
Though the episode was certainly helped by Savage, Flair, Ramon and even McMahon, there is no way that this one-hour total about-face for Mr. Perfect could have been accomplished with anyone other than Bobby Heenan in charge. The fans had hated Perfect for nearly four years. He had never been a babyface. So it was going to take a unique character to turn him, to get the fans to side with Perfect. Only Heenan could do this. With subtle jabs at his ability and revealing comments about how he saw him, Heenan's character planted seeds of resignation within Perfect's character. The story was laid out for the viewer in less than an hour, and it was totally logical: Perfect didn't want to be seen as irrelevant anymore. He still had something to prove, and to do it, he was going to stick it to the biggest villains in the WWF, and in particular, that loudmouth beside him.
Only a character so hated could have pulled it off. Only a performer with the innate ability to take on humanity's worst qualities could have pulled it off. And that was Bobby Heenan — a naturally hilarious person who was born to be the very best in his profession, by being a complete jerk.
I don't think Bobby Heenan had to work very hard to be the best. I think he saw the world as a very easy game in which all you had to do was insult your opponent, and watch them shake. He spent an entire career doing this, and it brought him to the top everywhere he went.
This week, as you remember Heenan's greatness and go back to watch his best moments, don't sleep on this episode. It's Heenan's wonderful essence wrapped up into a neat one-hour package.
