Thursday, October 12, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 208

Do that failson Fargo Strut, Double J, you win the battle of Failing Upward
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Obviously Jarrett is the correct answer here because he's been doing it longer and has had a more diverse run as a failson. Sapolsky has only tripped up the ladder in one field. You could argue Jarrett has done so in three if you count hawking gold. Jarrett somehow got to be a major World Champion, promoted a single promotion for a decade, and actually got people to believe he'd make a big resurgence with a second one. Sapolsky has a long way to catch up to ol' Double J, especially since he'll probably never take a bump.

The better indie match of the two is probably Zack Sabre, Jr. regardless of anything else because I find Sabre to be the better wrestler of the two. That's not to say Neville, or more accurately PAC, vs. KUSHIDA wouldn't be fire, because it would. However, I feel like Neville can bring more unpredictability vs. Sabre, much like AR Fox did in that cramped high school gym in suburban Philadelphia last summer.

First, thanks! Second, it depends on the opponent. My gut feeling is no opponent is currently on the scene that would give McMahon a way to win that didn't sabotage the narrative. Then again, you never know if the opportunity to go over Triple H would ever arise. That being said, I don't think it's likely to happen.

I don't watch 205 Live a whole lot, but I don't have to to tell you that Drew Gulak absolutely has the best gimmick not only in WWE but possibly in wrestling. It was excellent when he was doing it in Combat Zone Wrestling, and it works here, because the ground is so fertile for it to thrive. Gulak basically is running a political campaign against the DNA of wrestling. It's such a layup of a gimmick as long as you put your whole ass into it, and Gulak has never been known to half-ass anything.

A prodigious talent who gets put on limited appearances and has problems with his gastrointestinal health? He's a prolonged walkout from baseball to try another sport or two from being a carbon copy of Brock Lesnar.

Yes, very nice. Very nice indeed.

Bray Wyatt would probably be the too-easy answer, but while I'd love to see him scripted by competent writers and a plot that builds him up before tearing him down instead of tearing him down every other story beat, I don't know, my interest in him has been successfully destroyed by WWE. However, I don't have far to go for my next choice, BRAUN STROWMAN. Imagine a horror film centered around him terrorizing oversexed teenagers? It might be enough to make me a horror fan.

This answer will show how fucking old I am, but when I was in eighth grade, The Dana Carvey Show had an extremely limited run as a midseason replacement on ABC. By limited, I mean eight episodes. As a dumb preteen, I loved it and was sad to see it go. Would I have liked it now? I don't know, but you said "terrible" show, and that show probably was terrible. I would've loved to have seen it get a whole season at least.

I have two answers, both of which are only exciting for dorks like me and that will almost certainly never happen because the principals are either too serious now, or they're MIA. The first is 3MB. Now that Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre are back in WWE, the stage would be set for one of the greatest reunions of all-time. However, Heath Slater still seems like comedy fodder, and the other two, if you haven't noticed, are Champions in their respective brands. The other group is the BFFs. Charlotte Flair, Sasha Banks, and Summer Rae coming back together would excite the old school NXT fans something fierce, but I'm not sure how one does that when Banks and Flair have lapped Summer in exposure/fame, and when I'm not sure Summer will ever make an appearance on WWE television again. Every other reunion can go to hell, as far as I'm concerned.

Okay, so this is the part of the TweetBag where I expose myself as a FAKE PURO FAN, because I'm not sure I've ever seen a full Kenta Kobashi match. That being said, I've seen a bunch of clips, and they're all rad. Also, he no-sold cancer, is the rare benign vanity searcher on Twitter, and he smiles like HE'S the fan in every picture he takes with people who are either his peers or who were influenced by him. I need to do a Kobashi deep dive someday, but regardless, he's a legend who's earned his place and then some.

This question's already been answered, as both of them kinda wanted out over monetary concerns. Of course, each case also had aggravating circumstances; Austin Aries rubbed people the wrong way, and Neville was asked to continually put over another guy who rubbed everyone the wrong way. But they not only saw the rot, they were affected by it in ways that the people who continue to sign with WWE, wide-eyed and hopeful about their chances to move up on the card don't think can happen to them.
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