Friday, February 9, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

This place looks like a tornado trios match just hit it
Photo Credit: WWE.com

ExDragon: ostensibly show up to defend their championships
SAnitY: jump them from behind
Pier 6: ensues, won by the ex champions
Regal: Enough!  This ends tonight — in a tornado match!
SAnitY: yesssss gooood
the Era: uh, first of all, how dare you

Heavy Machinery: get a +3 this week due to their Holzerman adoption
Mossatelli: are roundly reviled
HM: win the power game
MT: show odd sudden signs of disunity
HM: lay them out after Drake catches Tino's chicanery, Compactor
Drake: Winners! 
Riddick: blows off Tino after the match
Center Stagers: D-Bry chant

John Grapples: comes out
Center Stagers: chant for him
Johnny: Hell of a month.  I was confident Philly was my night, I knew I was going to win.  I was confident, I brought my family... then I lost.  And it sucks.  But the reaction I got from you guys...
Center Stagers: That's us!  Huzzah!  Johnny Wrestling!
Johnny: I earned your respect that night and it's worth more than a championship.  I'm Gargano, Johnny Freakin' Wrestling.  I won't forget Philadelphia — or the crutch shot I got to the back, either.  I've been quiet about this since Chicago, but Tommaso Ciampa, I'm gonna...
Zelina: comes out with El Campeon de Mundo Shut up?  'Cause you lost.  AGAIN.  So you should shut up.  Ciampa had nothing to do with it, either, and this is the third time you lost to El Idolo.
Center Stagers: We want Candice!  repeat
Johnny: My favorite part was earning their respect.  My second favorite part was my better half jumping the guardrail and laying you out.
Zerina: pokes and shoves Johnny a couple times
Johnny: is highly amused, probably because he knows
Candice: comes out and shoves Zerlina down
Johnny: puts a couple of knots on Andrade's head when he tries it
Zelina: (furious atop the stage now)  You...
Center Stagers: YES! repeat
Zelina: I'm sick of you!  We've won three times, your best friend left you...
Johnny: You want me gone so bad?  Give me another shot.
Zelina: You want another shot?  Give me your NXT career!   You lose again, you get out and you stay out!
Johnny: Done.
Candice: uhhhh
Zelina and Andrade: cackle
Candice: uhhhhhh
Johnny: looks briefly concerned but is fired up by the crowd response, the Garganos take their leave

Shayna Bazler, "Earlier Today": It took me a month to become the most feared woman in NXT.  Ask Dakota, ask Aliyah, ask Ember...
Reporter: But Ember won.
Shayna: If you call that winning.  She's scared, and she should be.  I probably separated her shoulder, and if she gets in the ring with me again I'll hurt her worse.  She's not a real champion.  Quote me on that.
Ember Moon, "Later Via Twitter": Next week, Shayna.  You v. me, with the belt on the line again.
The Ghosts Of Chicago Gangsters Looking At Next Week's Date: uhhhhhhhh

Bianca BelAir: comes out to a mixed reaction
Victim: is clearly doomed
B2: Squats during a Torture Rack.  Facebuster.  Overhead powerbomb.  Are we done here?
Referee: We are.  Winner!
B2: blows the hard cam a kiss

SAnitY: come out
the Era: come out
The Great Dust In The Sky: They clubberin', Tony, they clubberin'!
Pier 6: ensues for two segs, culminating in Dain bieling Fish off the stage onto everybody else as seen above, then keeps going
Wolfe: lands a sitout bomb on Cole
KOR: breaks it up with a kick
Fish: lands an Exploder on Wolfe
Dain: saves with a senton, then Michinokus Kyle on Bobby
Some Guy: saves with a superkick, covers
E.Y.: saves with a Savage elbow
Center Stagers: NXT!  repeat
E.Y.: superkicks Cole
KOR: Axes and Smashes E.Y.
Wolfe: lands what he'd call a regular suplex on Kyle
Fish: Samoan drops Wolfe
Dain: MurderDiscusKills Fish, but misses a cannonball on Cole on the outside and goes through a table 
the Era: surround Wolfe
Wolfe: ducks so Kyle wipes out Bobby, and wins for a hot second
the Era: Nah.
ADAM COLE, BAY BAY: Superkick!
ExDragon: Total Elimination!
E.Y.: saves via kendo stick
ACBB: Superkick!
ExDragon: Sandwich kicks!
ACBB: Brainbuster on the knee!  Who thinks they can get better of the Era?  Who!?  Who dare show their face!??!
Dain: slowly recovers 
ACBB: ...perhaps I should've put a weight amendment on that statement.
Dain: puts those meesters on their keesters Wasteland!  Combination dropkick + senton!  Flying Knox!  Hairy Winged Angel!
the Era: is GORSHed
Referee: Winners!
E.Y.: kinda dead, held up by Dain
Wolfe: kinda dead, held up by Dain
Dain: yesssss gooood